Friday, January 22, 2016

Hermit Healing....

My new plan for at least the weekend, starting today, on Friday, is HH, Hermit Healing.  I believe that if I stay home, stay off the phone, facebook, etc., I will just heal some of my emotions.  I have had some issues with them recently because I am just tired of some people.  One friend told me that I get to chose, and I know this, chose who I let into my life, and who I spend time with.  This is so true and I must start adhering to this concept to feel better.  So HH is a good way to start.  

My plan is to rest, relax, read, knit (of course and always), quilt, play with my dogs, eat, sleep, nap, do some cleaning as needed, and just stay in, accept for my wonderful walks in the crisp air and snow which I find invigorating.  I love snow and crispness of air...and I know many don't, but to me, for me, it clears my mind.  I like seeing my breathe and watching for different tracks in the snow.  

I can tell by my thoughts that I am healing.  I seem to always have great plans and start enjoying them, and then let others in to enjoy them with me and it gets all spoiled.  I told my son, in a great phone conversation today about these thoughts, and he agreed that he could do some hermit time also. He says that he suffers from always doing too much for others also.  I know I bring things on by enabling people to walk all over me when I let them steal my "me" time and then I resent it.  Now I am going to be 68, and you would think I would have learned this, but I have now I believe and the thing is as I say no (which is my best yes), then people seem to think there is something really wrong with me.  I say, no, I am better, and HH and saying no, and doing things by and for  myself are healthy.  I like my own company, and next to that, I like the company of my dogs, and my hobbies, including grand books and music.  

HH.....try it.....and if you think it is a bit "eccentric", well, put on a funny hat and just enjoy.

Tuesday, January 19, 2016


At this time in my life, age 67, I should be having joy full days of things I want to do and things I plan to do for myself and my enjoyment.  I have considered feeling selfish in doing this.  For years I have done for everyone and everyone some more.  I have enjoyed doing things also so feel selfish as a Christian, especially, to think of myself more then what I think I should.  We are told to care for other, think of others before ourselves, and on and on.  Well, this older person is really tired of this and has tried to balance it with doing things for myself and including other.  It seems that people don't appreciate this and abuse my offers and my givings of time and funds and things.  When I question them holding up their part of things, they actually get mad at me.  Wow, I am seeing that maybe I help the wrong people, even if those people are family.  I will have to start and try again, in another way.

Just today I had a family member or members not respect and appreciate what I do, but treat me poorly and then get mad when I question them.  An example is, being on time, and being ready when I get to your house to pick you up to take you to the YMCA with my car, my funds, and the membership I am paying for, and you scream at your child when I get there to get out of bed and get ready.  Really, like I have all the time in the world to wait while they get ready and are always running late.  And to take it out on the child, who could get going on her own if she had been taught to do so, as she is now age 13, well!!!  Or to blame it on your husband who should have gotten her up when he left for work.  Now when I come two times a week to get this person and they know I have changed my life and plans around due to their car issues, etc, and made plans for lessons for the child that day with a specialist at the Y, and they are not up and ready.  I think I was most upset by thinking I would wait while they got ready and then the blame game toward others.  After all this, I had to explain to people at the Y the reason the child was not there, and they had to change their morning around, and I ended up being late for my yoga class which is never a polite thing to be late for, as really nothing is good to be late for.  . . it is just plain rude.  On top of it all, I get called at the Y as I am trying to get these things done and get to my class, and the person acts mad that I did not wait and now wants to bring the child in for her special lesson....yes, the whole world waits for those who are rude and late.  Not in my world and not in most people's world.  I am so fed up with it all. 

So I went to talk to a counselor as I was so mad and did not tune down as much as I should have after one hour of yoga...that is my fault.  But I knew I needed help.  The counselor said I do need stopping enabling people, help with allowing people to treat me poorly and mostly help to appreciate myself more and find joy and blessing in my life these later years of my life.  All great advise.  All advise I have given others and even myself.   Now to apply it on everyone.

I know why I like being a parent to my dogs.........they are the best people I know.

Thanks for listening to this frustrated but person doing therapy to get better.  

Monday, January 11, 2016


I am 67, to be 68 in April, and I have had enough.  I have put up with stuff to put it nicely, from family and husbands for too many years, that is not acceptable.  I have also done my own thing and had a good life, many hobbies, adventures and joys.  But, I have gotten tired to the core of neglect, negativity, and uncaring.  So this year, 2016, as I begun the year, I decided to concentrate my energies on shining for those that would notice.  It may be a complete stranger (maybe an angel unawares).  Well today as I was at the hospital having blood work done, I took up a conversation with many, some I knew, and others I did not.  People that passed on by who I knew from camp, church, life, would stop and talk to me, tell me wows or happy things, and they would pass on.  The woman next to me sat quietly.  I started including her in the conversations.  She, like me, needed people and conversations.  My husband is not a talker, unless it is negative or critical, so it is just as well he does not talk much.  But, I no longer was letting this affect me, and I noted that it did not when I was out and about and myself.  This woman had had blood work also and was going to have to wait for her husband, who was again probably getting admitted to the hospital.  She and he are both in their 70's, a bit older then me, but interesting I am sure.  So I told her that I was going to breakfast at the hospital as the food was good.  She followed me, and then asked if she could sit with me.  We had such a wonderful conversation, and things just clicked together.  We ate, talked, laughed, cried, and exchanged addresses, names and phone numbers.  She lives about 15 miles past my country home.  She said she enjoyed our time so much and was so happy she made a new friend today.  Then she said, "When I heard you talking with others, I knew you were a caring and kind person, and GOD was just telling me to get to know you".  Now that is shining for HIM I would say.  I think I made a new friend today also.  In fact, I have planned to send her one of my hand colored Post cards soon.  It tickles me, this person that family husband's have neglected and trampled on can still meet and make friends, plus see all the others in my little world that enjoy conversing with me.  It is a good life and a good world and even in my corner of it on this cold winter day......I smile.

My December 22 Family Member...

This is Hemingway.  He came to live with us on 12/22/15.   Twenty days ago seems like a long time as he is a busy little dog and healthy.  He was not always so.  Two teenage boys found him left for dead in a ditch when he was only a few months old.  They took him to our Humane Society, where the staff is wonderful and loves animals.  They nursed him, gave him vitamin shots, bathed him in iodine baths for the fleas he had, which caused hair loss.  They were able to bring him around to a good stop when I met him.  The manager of the place said to me when I came in to browse, that I did not see all the dogs yet, and he took me to a private room where this little guy was in a nice cage by himself, with a blanket over the top for warmth and a nice blanket to sleep on.  He was peppy and  almost smiling I would say.  I did not even get him out that day because he was still week.  A few days later I went back again, and was able to play with him some.  He came from being weak, almost dead, to healthy, happy and well loved by the staff.  They were almost protective of him and I can understand that.  The next time I came a few days later I took my granddaughter with me to meet him.  I talked with the manager at that time.  As I used to volunteer down there, he knew that this dog would catch my heart.  After losing my Daisy Mae Foxhound last August, I did not think I wanted another dog.  My thought to visiting the HS was it was good therapy for my grieving.  The manager said he knew this little guy had me picked out.  So I filled out the paperwork and had to wait until the following week or even more to bring him home....maybe in the new year I was told.  My thought now is that they were so attached to him, they were not ready to see him go.  But when I came the next week, the manager gave him his third series of puppy shots, said I could take him home, and bring him back in three weeks for his last puppy shots, and that I could take him to the vet for neutering when he got bigger.  I was so happy.   I had already put the funds in my purse just in case he could come home.  I told them I was going to name him Hemingway because he looks a little like Hemingway, and he is little, like Hemingway's home in Paris on the Seine, which I saw when there last fall.  He also was mighty and  could be called Hemi for short, like the strong, tough hemi engines in trucks.  So my Hemingway, who was only 4 pounds, limped a little, and was still smiling I believe, came home with me.  He made his way into many of the families hearts.  My two old doxies, Sophia and Oliver, are melting a little, but tolerate him.  He is healthy, happy, fiesty, and loved, but he also loves us.  He rescued me from so much.  He does not take Daisy Mae Foxhound's place and does not have to.  He has made his own place in my home and in my heart.  Hemingway had no known birth date, so it is July 21, yes, Hemingways's birthday.    Got out and try it, adopt a pet from the shelter.  .  . they will love you forever.