Hemingway needed a Playmate:

Because my little Hemingway needed a playmate other then me, I headed back to the shelter just before Easter and met and adopted a little mini whippet, actually a whippet/chihuahua mix which they are calling a mini whippet as he looks more like a whippet.  He is smart and sweet and a good little two year old guy.  He was kept in a crate by owners most of his two years so had some things to learn and overcome, but now is doing well, just a little afraid of some things like hair brushes.  He is enjoying the big fenced in yard, sleeping on furniture, having treats, and sleeping in bed at night.  He loves playing with his friend, Hemingway.  They are grand friends already.  And, of course, he has not seem a crate at this house.

I named him Mr. Molesley after my favorite servant character from Downton Abbey, Mr. Molesley who often said, "I am feeling a little fragile today."  And our Mr. Molesley actually looks fragile but he is strong, a fast runner and a real go getter.

Update photos of my dogs:

Mr. Hemingway is a yorkie that I adopted a few days before Christmas in 2015.  He is now ten months old and such a sweet little guy.  It took me awhile to even think of getting another dog after losing my Daisy Mae Foxhound, but I finally decided that it was because of how wonderful she was that I wanted to have another dog friend.  I finally decided it was a compliment to her and not taking a thing away from my relationship with her.  I lost her in August of 2015.

 

Mr. Hemingway, to me, looks like Ernest Hemingway, with the grey,black, and tan streaked hair and the big round dark eyes and the bushy white beard, thus he became my Mr. Hemingway.  Of course, Ernest did not like his first name so people called him just Hemingway, and we call our little guy, just Hemingway.

COUNTRY LADY TO THE BIG CITY

Me, myself and I went to the big city of Chicago.  I do enjoy heading there by Amtrak from Quincy which is an hour from here and then a little over a four hour ride by train to Chicago.  So you put some time in to go just for a day, but I have done that many a time just to enjoy a few things plus the ride and head home.

This time I decided to take a three day vacation in this wonderful city.  I went by myself again, as I enjoy doing that more then with a group like I have done sometimes for a day trip.  Anyway, I got off the train and took a taxi to Hard Rock Hotel on N. Michigan, amongst the Magnificent Mile.  

My hotel room was on the 21 floor and was wonderful.  I had three large windows to view the buildings, especially pretty with all the night lights.  I was right by the Chicago river so very pretty and sparkly at night also.  I must say I took lots of photos and enjoyed just leaving the drapes open and going to sleep looking out at the lights.  This is very different from the country person I am.  I like it dark and only the lights of the moon and stars.

My first day I headed to the Art Institute as I wanted to see the great exhibit of Vincent van Gogh, with paintings from other museums on lone, some from Paris, which I had seen last fall.  They had a bedroom exhibit, with the three paintings of his bedroom, and even a bedroom set up to scale so you could walk and imagine how he lived and painted also as often he was painting from the spare room with the chimney in which was right by his room.  This was all in the yellow house in Arles, FRANCE (southern).  They had some special Monet also so took so much in.

After this I headed for a cold windy walk, about 1.5 miles to the Adler's Planetarium.  I was able to take in the sights and also the last showing of the night sky.  It was so enjoyable and educational.  It is all done digitally with computer now, no big machine turning in the middle of the room like years ago.  You can tell I have not visited a planetarium for years.

I headed to catch a taxi to the hotel and ate in the hotel's American cafe that evening.  The food was wonderful and service great, and it was a bit pricey.  However, it was vacation and only me, so I splurged for great steak.

My next day was to tour the wonderful Frank Lloyd Wright home and studio in Oak Park.  I enjoyed this tour so much more then I thought I would.  It was beautiful, educational, well done, and small groups in each tour.  I had to travel by taxi, my choice, as I did not trust I would get to where I was to be at 10:00 for the tour if I went by metro or bus.  I am not "that" big city savey.

After I finished the tour and buying out the gift shop, I headed by taxi back to Chicago city, and to North State to a wonderful Barnes and Nobles.  I ate there and then spent time looking and purchasing a few things.  I do enjoy field trips to bookstores where ever I travel.  

It was then back to the hotel to rest a bit and then get dressed up, wearing an outfit I had purchased in Paris by a locally known designer with three small shops in the Paris area.  I took another taxi to Hard Rock Cafe, and it was  a grand treat for this old hippie and liker of some of the rock and roll famous people.  I was excited to see things from the Beatles, and also Steve Tyler.

The food was wonderful, having a sampler platter and some soda.

The  next day I was scheduled for a shoreline tour by boat, but the weather was very cold, 30 and raining and the boat had an open upper deck and lower deck was open at window areas (no window glass in them), so I called and asked if they were going, as the water was also choppy.  They called a bit later and cancelled so I will be reimbursed for my ticket purchased online.

This left me to go walking, dressing in layers and heading out to go many blocks down Magnificient Mile to shop and then back on the other side, and going around some blocks also.  All this before heading to the station and going home, leaving at about 6:00 p.m. to get back about 10:30.

Roy picked me up, remarking my large suitcase was much heavier.  Little did he know how much I purchased.  I also took lots of photos and had such a wonderful time in just a simple three day trip by train to a state next door to mine.  

I do encourage all that can get out and see some of our great country to do so.  Time goes fast, please note that there are simple things that can bring you great joy.  You do not have to go far and you do not have to spend lots of funds.  You can camp, go for a day trip, stay in a more reasonable hotel, eat bag lunch.  I have traveled all sorts of ways.  This trip I did splurge on myself as I just felt a need to do so.  Next trip, maybe to see the fall colors in my home state of Wisconsin, I will take a cooler and drive the 10 hours and then stay in a Days Inn during the week days when it is about $45.00 a night.  Sounds good to me.  Seeing those northern fall leaves is so much brighter then the ones in Missouri, not that ours are not nice.....just like the hills and mountains of Wisconsin with so many different colors.

Get out and explore.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

Yes, it is happy birthday to me, and I am 68 today.  When I was 30, had toxic shock syndrome and was hospitalized for 12 days, with 5 days in intensive care.  My amazing doctor and nurses and also my GOD saw me through this.  I knew then that I would want to live life and appreciate it all, the good, the bad, and the ugly.

There has been all of that in my life, but from the bad came lessons, from the ugly, came perspective, and the good, well, lots of joy.  I must say with all the many difficult times, I saw joy in the days and the happenings and still have a wonderment of what life is going to be for the rest of this day, month, year, and lifetime I have left.  Since my family does live long lives, I conclude that I will also.  So 68 is not that old. 

I enjoy playing in the dirt, working in the yard, painting, knitting, sewing, walking in the woods and wading in the creek.  Recently I made a monument of rocks in honor of my trip to FRANCE and Normandy Beaches, where I was introduced to this form of monument.  The rocks are from the creek at our farm.  I stand amazed as it stands amazingly all by itself in balance.  As a yoga person, I believe in balance, and must say I am enjoying this monument so much.  The first night after making it, I had to wonder outside to check on it before heading to bed.

Travel, as you can see, is another thing I continue to do. In fact, next week I head by train to spend a few days in Chicago, a large city I do enjoy with all its culture, museums, food, and just time to spend wandering and wondering.  I do that well.

Quiet Saturday...........

Today it is rainy and warm, and I could be out more.  Today I have two of my three laundry baskets full, and I could do laundry.  Today I have nothing bakes, and I could bake. 

BUT.....I am having a quiet Saturday.  My husband is out of town for the day, my dogs are restful as they don't care to go outdoors much in the rain, and I am tired.  I had several long and difficult days.  Today I told myself..."Self, not hey you, you need to relax and rest".  So I decided I don't need my laundry done today or things baked or my floor even swept.  In fact, I don't need to get out of my pajamas either.  

My menu so far for the day has been to rest, read, rest, knit, rest, drink coffee, rest, play with my Hemingway (yorkie), rest, eat nachos for lunch, rest, drink some FRENCH roast coffee made in my vintage perculator, rest and get online.  So my plans for later are to rest, drink more coffee, rest, color, rest, read, rest, eat dinner, rest, watch some television, and rest, drink a glass of wine, and then tell myself, "Self, not hey you, I did it.  It is wonderful when I can plan the day and actually pull it off". 

Hoping your Saturday is restful, and full of fun as mine has been.  I know I enjoyed mine so far and know I wait to enjoy my glass of wine.  Some days it is looking forward to that first cup of coffee and the glass of wine at night that makes the day special.  That is called being "de-stressed".

 Changes..................

Changes in life can be a real challenge, but many are also for our own good. Losses are the same.  I have a number of friends who have lost loved ones, not just loved ones that were elderly and expected to die soon, but loved ones, young and with many years to fill lives with laughter and joy.  Many have lost children. I see and I hear and I listen, never sharing my loss of my youngest child, my daughter, Jacquelyn.  

Jacquelyn was born in 1974, the third of my children, following a son born in 1968 and a daughter in 1971.  Each child is a gift from GOD and is special in their own ways.  My two oldest children are that also and they give me joy and laughter and tears and "life".  I am blessed to have both living close, one seven miles away and the other only 25 miles away.  We do not "overcome" each others lives, but know we are there for each other and love each other and get together for special things and then also just to drop in and say "hi".  Grown grandchildren, ages 23, 21, 20, 18, and 13 also do this.  It has been fun watching and even helping with raising them.  Grandparents get a second try at doing something right in the lives of a little one, "so fresh from GOD."

My Jacquelyn got married, had two children, and moved here from many other places they had lived.  She moved about 50 minutes away.  My Jacquelyn wanted to be around family.  My Jacquelyn called daily.  My Jacquelyn came to see me at least every other week or expected me to come that way.  My Jacquelyn, smart, beautiful, and vibrant.  How does one loss a child like this, or any child.  We are suppose to be the ones that are gone first.  My Jacquelyn went into the Navy.  My Jacquelyn got a nursing degree and beyond.  

My Jacquelyn was also sexually abused by her biological dad, as was my oldest daughter.  She then was kicked and beaten by an older man that she decided to date and love.  I would like to say she left him, well she did a time or two, but usually went back.  I believe she finally decided to leave the area, going into the Navy, to really get away from him.  There she was also left by other co-workers, on the beach, alone, and a navy man came up and raped her.  She reported it, went the process, and was damaged much by trying to get help.  She then, after being a reporter, a model in her teens and in the navy, became anorexic.  It was something she could control.  She could not control men, not men in her life it seems, from her dad to boyfriend, to co-workers.  They sent her home for a few weeks to rest and recover from one bad episode.  

This disease affects your body and your mind.  I was working in social work and went to see a counselor about it, as she was coming home to me, to her family, and I wanted to do things right.  Things did not always go right during that visit and she was "sort of" shut away from all of us.  Then she got married to a sailor, was on the road to recover when he was shipped out for six months shortly after they got married.  Again she had a bout with this body and mind damage, or control.  She got counseling and then was dismissed from the navy, saying she harmed her back....but it was more her mental state I believe.

After all that, she became very angry.  Who could blame her for being angry, but it is what you do with your anger.  I was angry about it also.  I put her dad out of the house, got her help, and her sister, checked into legal issues, and was talked into just going on and moving and getting on with my life and theirs.  One daughter was actually told that it would be a good thing to get into computer study and work.  Then we were all told that they loved their dad and forgave him and we also needed to do so.  He was welcome at church.....I say, "watch your children at any organized religious things".   My daughters both began to not like church, church men, then men.

One daughter got married and that worked for six years.  She has had five marriages and lots of issues with men.  Finally at age 45, she is coming into herself and moving to a better place.  My Jacquelyn just got more into herself and after she had her two beautiful daughters, well, she went back into her anorexia.  She was 5'7" and weighted 104 pounds....skeleton but still a beauty to me.  Her husband liked her look and bought her lots of stylish clothing....the model....but I told him she was sick and could die. He told me it was "none of my damn business".  But it was.

Things progressed.  She continued to not like church people, not just men.  Then she singled out people, including me, and then other family members.  It was a roller coaster of a time.  Ten years ago, well, eleven in December of 2016, was the last time I saw my daughter, alive, but not well, in my dining room.  Then the last time I spoke with her were many hateful and heart wrenching conversations by phone.  They moved to Kansas and I visited twice, but not very good times for sure.  I did lots of praying.  

It was that year that I lost her.  She mailed back cards, letters, would not answer my phone calls, and even sent back Christmas gifts for the family.  She had tried religion, other then the legalistic one we had been, but then went to more liberal and even Jewish and Unitarian for a bit.  Then nothing.  

So, I lost my daughter.  You see, all of you that I have not told this.  All of you that have lost children, young or grown.  You understand.  I listened and cried with some of you.  I hugged you and held your hands and went to gravesites and houses of these children, now gone.  But I never shared with a one of you that I lost my youngest daughter.  It has been over ten years now.  I am telling you now, because I am still working on some healing.  It has been hard. 

The twist is, you see, you lost your child, and I lost my child...but I lost my child to anger, sexual abuse, hate of self, disease of trying to control a part of her world, rejection, and abandonment.  I lost My Jacquelyn some ten years ago, but she is very much live with her husband and two growing daughters, living in the east, smart, beautiful, and full of rejection of her past....not healing of her past....rejection.  It is how she has handled it and how she is healing.  

My prayer, and I still do pray, even if I do not like organized religion any more, is that she comes to peace with herself and with GOD.  She never has to speak or see me again.  But living with no peace and with hate causes her so much pain.  I love her and want that peace for her heart and soul.  For her, not for anyone else.

Rest in PEACE,  MY Jacquelyn.

Pictures from Katie's Kitchen

My little Hemingway.   Katie making peanut butter cookies.  New table cloth I made from equilters.com fabric, in Daisy print in honor of my Daisy Mae Foxhound.