HERE IS THE THING......

At this time in my life, age 67, I should be having joy full days of things I want to do and things I plan to do for myself and my enjoyment.  I have considered feeling selfish in doing this.  For years I have done for everyone and everyone some more.  I have enjoyed doing things also so feel selfish as a Christian, especially, to think of myself more then what I think I should.  We are told to care for other, think of others before ourselves, and on and on.  Well, this older person is really tired of this and has tried to balance it with doing things for myself and including other.  It seems that people don't appreciate this and abuse my offers and my givings of time and funds and things.  When I question them holding up their part of things, they actually get mad at me.  Wow, I am seeing that maybe I help the wrong people, even if those people are family.  I will have to start and try again, in another way.

Just today I had a family member or members not respect and appreciate what I do, but treat me poorly and then get mad when I question them.  An example is, being on time, and being ready when I get to your house to pick you up to take you to the YMCA with my car, my funds, and the membership I am paying for, and you scream at your child when I get there to get out of bed and get ready.  Really, like I have all the time in the world to wait while they get ready and are always running late.  And to take it out on the child, who could get going on her own if she had been taught to do so, as she is now age 13, well!!!  Or to blame it on your husband who should have gotten her up when he left for work.  Now when I come two times a week to get this person and they know I have changed my life and plans around due to their car issues, etc, and made plans for lessons for the child that day with a specialist at the Y, and they are not up and ready.  I think I was most upset by thinking I would wait while they got ready and then the blame game toward others.  After all this, I had to explain to people at the Y the reason the child was not there, and they had to change their morning around, and I ended up being late for my yoga class which is never a polite thing to be late for, as really nothing is good to be late for.  . . it is just plain rude.  On top of it all, I get called at the Y as I am trying to get these things done and get to my class, and the person acts mad that I did not wait and now wants to bring the child in for her special lesson....yes, the whole world waits for those who are rude and late.  Not in my world and not in most people's world.  I am so fed up with it all. 

So I went to talk to a counselor as I was so mad and did not tune down as much as I should have after one hour of yoga...that is my fault.  But I knew I needed help.  The counselor said I do need help...help stopping enabling people, help with allowing people to treat me poorly and mostly help to appreciate myself more and find joy and blessing in my life these later years of my life.  All great advise.  All advise I have given others and even myself.   Now to apply it on everyone.

I know why I like being a parent to my dogs.........they are the best people I know.

Thanks for listening to this frustrated but person doing therapy to get better.